Over Thinking….Again

The four walls of my temporary establishment seem to be closing in on me.

I sit in silence waiting…watching…thinking..

Nothing crucial.

Nothing extravagant.

Simply stray thoughts of various topics, memories, names, and moments floating through time and space inside my mind.

Names begin to surface.

Some old…some new.

Possibilities of connections, moments of affection..old flames..new flames along with the many games that were played.

The joys of reminiscing…..and the pain.

The lies…the sleepless nights.

Fights and arguments.

Broken picture frames and bruised egos.

That fear…

The fear of losing what you worked so hard to finally love.

The criticism…

The criticism for placing him above every rule and moral…

And friend..

And family member….yeah family member.

Mom and dad said “no”.

Sister said “watch out”.

Best friend told you “I don’t like him”.

But you loved him anyways…

Even though he didn’t love you.

Yeah…it’s all so clear now..

Each moment plastered on my walls like I’m staring at a movie screen.

And on that same screen I saw the rebirth of my strength.

I saw the gleam in my eyes when I met an intriguing figure.

Curiosity peaked..

Guard up..

I wait and watch and engage..

Carefully…

You circle me…I square up to you…

Constantly watching..and waiting.

Testing your mind as you test mine.

Slowly they rise….the ideas that is.

Swimming around my head faster and faster.

One possibility after another.

From the first conversation

To the first time spent alone

To the first touch

The first kiss

The first…

Whoa….

My eyes refocus.

The walls stop moving.

I sit there until the phone rings.

“what are you doing?”

Just thinking…just thinking..